eva_the_puppy

Arrrrrrrrrrrrr

2004-10-20T21:00:45Z

Arrrrr. Rrrrrrrrr. ehhhhhhhrrrrr.

That's all I got

I might as well be barking at a wall

2004-06-23T15:44:09Z

Bark bark bark bark bark bark... oh, what the hell, rrrrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrr...
No one's listening! I said bark, rrrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Forget it.

Fred, Red and logic

2004-06-15T16:41:37Z

Don't know if it's that I'm sleepy or that there's no air here. I keep going over to the door to sniff the fresh. Fresh smells so good. Grammy keeps all the windows shut tight when everyone goes out. She says it's to keep me safe. Not sure what's that about since we go outside all the time on walks and I never see nothing looks unsafe....'cept Red next door and I don't think she could get through the windows. Almost got mauled by her three walks ago. She was off her leash and came at me. Grammy got so scared she almost threw her hot tea at Red's face. (Instead, she spilled it a bit on me.) Grammy was screaming, "No, No!!!" real loud. And I was thinking, "Now, what am I doing?" cause I knew I was behaving myself. It was very confusing til I realized she was shouting at Red. Then Fred came running over and finally got Red leashed up. Red's parents said they were surprised Red didn't kill me, and then they laughed. Grammy didn't laugh but said it was ok and then sat down to drink what was left of her tea. I'm sure I don't understand anyone at all anymore. Red is the only dog who is really whackers around here. And her parents kind of enable that nutsy behavior by just laughing it off. What really bothers me is that Grandma didn't even say like why's Red off her leash, and out in public... cause it's kind of like letting Charles Manson run into town for a quick ice cream. She was just like, "Oh, no, it's ok, it's fine..." I gave her a sideways look and I'm sure she got the message. It's totally not ok. And especially if that's why we keep our windows closed all day long and I can't even feel the fresh on my fur.

for Toby

2004-06-14T14:27:51Z

Toby, I hear you barking across the courtyard. I barked back but you didn't answer. Sometimes I hear you cry. I feel your loneliness, Toby. I feel your longing. Sometimes I cry because you cry. I picture you behind that big wood door, all alone, sniffing the thin current of cool air that manages to wafer its way inside. I sniff that too, Toby. But I rarely cry when I smell the freshness. I just remember my morning walk, and the grass all wet and green-smelling, and the flowers and the soil and the pavement, and I just feel it in my mind, knowing I'll see it again when Grammy comes home. And I feel happy to remember it. Toby, remember your walks and relive them when you sniff that smell. Just close your eyes as you sniff the coolness and be there again. I sometimes get scared, too, that no one will ever come home, that there'll be no more walks, no more belly rubs and no more treats. But then I remind myself that life is a cycle of walks and naps (we can't always be on a walk, right?) and that I will run in the cool green grass again when it is time.

Lots to do

2004-06-04T12:32:59Z

Mommy just left for school and it's quiet here now. Going to race in circles for a while and then maybe sniff some pillows. And then of course I'll need to nap for the rest of the morning. After that I plan to bite my chewy rubber buddha. That'll take me up to when Mommy comes home. Got to get started.

THE SOURCE OF ALL SUFFERING

2004-06-03T15:28:41Z

I love my family but they would be much more agreeable if they just wouldn't talk. Talking is the source of all evil in the world. It is the cause of all suffering. I don't talk and I get along with everyone. They talk and have attitudes most of the time. This morning it was Grandma and Terry. Makes the air feel dirty. I don't know why they do it. Like me, I don't need or want to talk. There's nothing I need to say that can't be summed up by lying on my back with my legs open or curling up by myself at the top of the stairs. But they don't get it. They just have to go ahead and ruin the goodness by talking. Anything other than give me food, water or take me for a walk seems wasted to me. And maybe evil. If people couldn't talk (or write) there'd probably be no wars or racisim or any of their other ridiculous problems. Humans can be so annoying when they talk. I try to discourage it in my family. When they call, "Eva, come!" I just ignore it. Let them hold out a treat, yeah, and I'll come running. I'm trying to train them to use actions rather than noise. Sometimes I have to lie down away from them because they're so noisy. Yet they can be so beautiful when they're not talking. I love it when they're sleeping or just cuddling. You'd think they'd figure it out after all this time. Like you hear them going on and on over a baby. Nobody doesn't love a baby... and why, might I ask? BECAUSE THEY DON'T TALK!

My one wild and precious life

2004-05-28T15:57:34Z

Almost lost my head yesterday. Ran out the door when Grandma left to go tangoing. Mommy called after me and ran out. She started offering me treats and walks and everything I've ever wanted if I'd just come back, but I don't know, something made me just keep running. A couple of times I got confused when she held out treats... they can make me crazy, like I'll do almost anything for a treat, but then somehow I'd come to my senses just as I was about to fall for the trap and I just ran. I ran all the way out to the big street all by myself and Mommy looked real sad, though she had this big fake smile on her face and she just kept saying my name real nice and promising me everything if I'd just go to her... but I didn't. Then Grams came up behind me. I was going to dart under the fence where they're doing all the building cause neither Grams or Mommy can fit there, and I was also thinking about just running right towards one of them and scooting right past, it's like my heart, it was pounding and I just kept thinking run Eva run, run run... but then I kept thinking, like where am I running to and where will I sleep and what will happen to my squeaky buddha and my tennis ball on a rope? While I was trying to figure all this out, Grandma scoops me up and it's all over. Grandma's heart was going so fast, and she looked so strange, like Mommy, all scared and sad and fake smiling and stuff. It was weird cause I really didn't know what I was doing or why. I didn't really want to run away, but then the urge was so great, I felt such a need to run and run even if it meant getting hit by all the cars. In fact, I felt so drawn to the street, to the cars flying past, I just wanted to run straight into them. Kind of weirded me out.

Musings

2004-05-24T17:26:32Z

I like being outside. Have been looking out the kitchen window most of the day. I like that most people know my name and say Hi Eva when they pass under it. Want to go outside but the door knob is too high, and anyway Grandma and Mommy would have a fit if I started going outside during the day. "It's not you... it's them, " they'd say. "We trust you... we just don't trust them," and other b*sh*t like that. They just don't want to bother letting me have a life. Well, when I get big I'm going to go outside by myself whether they like it or not. I'm figuring if I can grow enough, then I'll be able to reach the door knob, and also they'll have less excuse to worry about "them" out there. I'm over 10 pounds now and I've been sneaking food while they're out, trying to up it to 11. I figure by the end of the summer maybe I'll be 15 or so. Grandma's book about Yorkies says we don't grow past 8 pounds. Hah! I proved that dumb people wrong. Anyway, it's already after 1pm and I have to start cleaning up before grams gets home. She doesn't know that I stack stuff during the day so that I can explore the drawers and closets. But it takes so long to get everything back the way it was. My teeth always hurt after, too. Thank Dog that Terry's so absent-minded. He gets blamed for a lot of my oversights and no one believes him when he said he didn't leave this or that around. I whisper to him while he's sleeping now, so even he thinks he's leaving sh*t around. I gots him wrapped around my little paw. Grandma's not too sharp either, so it's easy to make her think she's having what she calls "senior moments." Humans are pretty fun once you get how to relate to them. They're very trusting too, which is kind of touching. All I gots to do is tilt my head this way and that while they're jabbering at me and they go all lovey dovey and sh*t. Sometimes it seems funny, but other times I get annoyed at how easily they're manipulated. Oh! Flats-deliverer is coming down the walk. Got to lay my trap.

Anticlimax

2004-05-20T14:48:41Z

Flats have landed on my poop for 3 days straight now. Just don't get the same thrill like I used to. Feeling like there must be more to life. Will try to think more about this... after my nap.

Success at last

2004-05-13T14:59:42Z

Finally figured out how to turn the monitor on. Grandma shuts it off in the morning and I haven't been able to turn it on... until today! My strategy is to run straight at it with my nose tensed pretty hard. It's kind of scary to do that, and it hurts a little, but I can punch the button in. That's the price for freedom, I guess. Haven't journaled since February. My paws are having some difficulty hitting the right keys and I'm getting cranky. Just these sentences took me all morning to write. Of course I've also taken a nap I think, and lapped from my water bowl and chewed a few of those smelly hard bits in the other bowl. And I pooped by the door, right where the flats land. So I guess I did get distracted a few times. I've been calculating the forces controlling the arc of descent of the flats so that I can have them land right on my poop. Watching them hit is so exhilarating. Yesterday they missed by a fur. I was like, oooooooooooh, and I almost rolled down the stairs in a tantrum of disappointment. But today'll be different. I don't know if it's cheating, but I pooped on two different tiles by the door, T1 and T3. Got coordinates for each tile. Like for instance, the flats never make it to M5, so there's no point at all pooping there.

Jungle

2004-02-25T16:49:44Z

I used to live in a house, but now I live in a jungle, or the jungle has moved into my house. Anyway, I try to eat the leaves of the trees in the house, but they're too high up. Have been piling pillows up to reach, but by the time I get a couple of pillows situated, it's time to break them down before the family comes home. They'd say, "No, Eva, no." So I do what I want during the day and watch the clock and listen for sounds. Sometimes the flats come and it scares me half to death cause everything's all over the place and I think it's grandma at the door. But it's just these flat things that fall on my pee pee pad. They have grandma's name and Terry's name on them usually. Not mommy's. They can't be very important since everyone just rips them, looks inside and then throws them away. I think they're hoping there's food in there. Doesn't make a lot of sense, but then the 2-leggeds often do weird things. The one with the hat just sits a lot with his eyes closed. He should try curling up, that's more comfortable. I tried to sit like he sits, but it's a strain. Curling ups the way to go. It's just plain weird what he does. I like to bark at him when he sits like that. He just smiles and then sometimes the smile disappears suddenly and he jumps up and tries to catch me. He'd pretty fast for a 2-leggeder. It doesn't matter if he does catch me, anyway, because all he does is squeeze me a second or two, shout the no word at my nose and then drop me into grandma's arms. Grandma always kisses and bites me. I like the bites, but the kisses are too humid.

Having feelings

2004-02-23T18:19:13Z

Feeling bad but I can't remember why. It may have something to do with the rug, the new rug, peeing on it, and Grandma shouting no over and over again and then her pushing my nose into it and shouting even louder and then, oh my god, she thwacked me a couple of times on the nose, yes, now it's coming back to me, thwack, NO!, thwack, "NO EVA!" yes it's all coming back now and she had that horrible look on her face like she was evil or something as she was shouting. But she did something even worse, she put the rug in the sink and it got all wet. I think she was trying to frame me for something more than I done, cause all I did was wet a tiny little area, like the size of five paws or something, but she, she got it wet like the size of my little fluffy bed, like the size of a pillow, like the size of 5 food bowls. Like how bad is that, rrrr. Or, maybe I'm just feeling bad cause there's no one home and I miss having someone to sleep near and bark at. And I miss Grandma, though I'm mad at her, for some reason, can't quite remember, but I think it had something to do with the wet rug hanging on the radiator. Rrrrrrr.

RRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2004-02-04T15:04:44Z

Barking but nobody's listening. Where's mommy go every day? Where's grandma go? Where's terry? I need someone to play with. Toby told me he's home all day by himself too. Wish we could play while the big ones are out. I've suggested it to mommy and grandma but they just tickle my belly and kiss me when i'm trying to discuss important stuff. Or they say, "yes, yes my lovey" but then they don't make the arrangements. I told Toby to ask his people to take care of it and he said that everytime he mentions it, they just scratch his ears. Seems like people don't have very long attention spans. But they're cute and they have food. Feeling sleepy again. Nap time.

Where's mommy?

2004-01-30T16:45:06Z

Mommy went out. Her and holly. Don't feel good when mommy goes out. And leaves me home. Barked for a while. Also did some whining and whimpering. Then went back to barking. Bark, whimper, whine, whimper, bark, bark. Whimper. Not in the mood to eat anything. It's kibbles again. Kibbles stink, especially new bowls. Yuk. But i eat them rather than die. I like egg, but there's only kibbles. There's eggs in the little cold room in the kitchen. No one ever goes in there, but they open the door to it a lot. Sometimes they take chewy things out. But they almost never give me any. I follow anyway, just in case. I concentrate real hard and try to put the thought in their heads, "Give that to eva.... give that to eva..." I know it works cause sometimes i get something.

Sleeping and eating

2004-01-28T23:25:40Z

Lying on mommy's lap is good. Sleeping and eating is good too. And barking is fun, but recently i noticed that grandma is not getting as irritated. i'll have to find something else to get her attention. Mostly i like eating, sleeping, and lying on mommy's lap. Grandma'll do if mommy's not around. And terry's ok in a pinch. Sometimes I get confused cause there's so many things to do. Do i bite my squeaky buddha, eat, sleep, or bark. Grandma took over typing this for me cause I still don't know where all the keys are and my paws keep tapping the letter next to the one I really want and i started to cry cause i got so frustrated. Nap time now.